So, two atoms are walking down a road together. One atom says to the other, “Hey, I think I’ve lost an electron!” The other atom asks, “Are you sure?” The first atom responds, “Yes, I’m positive!”
These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”
co /dev/pub/pint > /dev/girl
mv /dev/girl /dev/house
There was an old Indian belief that by making love on the hide of their favorite animal, one could guarantee the health and prosperity of the offspring conceived thereupon. And so it goes that one Indian
couple made love on a buffalo hide. Nine months later, they were blessed with a healthy baby son. Yet another couple huddled together on the hide of a deer and they too were blessed with a very healthy
baby son. But a third couple, whose favorite animal was a hippopotamus, were blessed with not one, but TWO very healthy baby sons at the conclusion of the nine month interval. All of which proves the old theorem that:
The sons of the squaw of the hippopotamus are equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
One day, and engineer comes up to the gates of hell. The Devil takes a look at him and says, “Well, we’ve never had an engineer in hell before, but I guess we can take you in.” So the engineer goes in.
After a few days, he comes up to the Devil and says, “I’m sure you’ve noticed, but it’s really hot down here! What do you think of setting up a couple of refrigeration coils, getting an icebox set up so we could have iced drinks down here?” Now, the Devil hears this and says, “Why not? If you can set it up, go for it!”
So the engineer gets some tools together, works for a little bit, and sets up his little icecube maker, and soon the engineer, the Devil, and everyone else is enjoying ice cubes in their drinks, and everyone thinks it’s a great improvement.
Couple of days later, the engineer comes back to the Devil and says, “Well, I’m impressed by how big Hell is – there are so many people here! But it takes so long to get from place to place – how about I install some people-movers? I can put in escalaters, elevators, moving ramps, the works!” The Devil takes a sip of his ice marguarita, and says, “Sure, give it a shot.”
As the engineer works, the souls in Hell start getting around easier – there are elevators, escalators, all sorts of people-movers! It gets to be quite convenient to get around Hell.
After that project, the engineer comes up to the Devil and says, “I’ve been thinking about tackling the heat down here – ice drinks are all well and good, but it’s still bloody hot! How about it?” The Devil at this point returns, “Anything you need, you got it!”
Two weeks later, the first stage of the cooling system goes on-line, and all the damned souls breath a sigh of relief as the heat wave finally breaks. At this point, God comes down to talk to the Devil, and tells him there’s been a mistake: “That engineer you’ve got doesn’t belong in Hell – he was meant for Heaven!”
Now, the Devil wasn’t about to let his first engineer go! He returns, “Oh, come on – once he’s in those gates, he’s Mine! That’s the way it works, and you know it!”
God tells him, “Well, you’re just gonna have to return him! If you don’t, I’ll, I’ll – I’ll sue you, is what I’ll do!”
The Devil knows he’s won – he leans back, cocky as all hell, and asks, “Now, where you gonna find a Lawyer in Heaven?”
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.
How do you tell an extrovert engineer from an invtrovert? And extrovert engineer will look at your shoes when he talks to you.