How to Be Happy

How to Be Happy
How to Be Happy

Happiness isn’t something that just happens to you. Everyone has the power to make small changes in our behavior, our surroundings and our relationships that can help set us on course for a happier life. Read all of our Guides for Living Smarter for more tips on how to make yourself happier.

Choosing a Happy Community

Openness: People are happy when they live in a community that is welcoming to all

  • Beauty: Living in a scenic, picturesque or charming community, with lots of trees and green space, makes people happier
  • Social opportunities: When a community is designed to foster social connections – restaurants, community spaces, sidewalks, trails and other public spaces – people are happier

Practice Optimism

Thinking positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with positive people really does help.

  • Optimism, like pessimism, can be infectious. Make a point to hang out with optimistic people to avoid both types of thinking negative thoughts and being a pessimist yourself.

Finding Your Happy Place

The “World Happiness Report” ranks countries based on the subjective well-being and happiness of people who live there and their responses to the ladder test.

  • Countries with strong economies and quality of life are still pretty happy, even though many fell short of the top 10 and could improve policies to make their citizens even happier.

Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

Most of the time, what we think will make us happy actually won’t

  • Happiness doesn’t come from more money or more stuff
  • Even lottery winners are not any happier than those of us who never win anything
  • The constant quest for the things we don’t have is called the hedonic treadmill
  • When we get what we want (money, job, love, house) we may get a burst of happiness, but we quickly settle back to our previous level of happiness

You Can Be Happy Alone

In a study of 24,000 people in Germany over 15 years, researchers found that getting married only triggered a small bump in happiness, measured as one-tenth of a point on an 11 point scale.

  • The bottom line was that if you are already a happy person, you will not gain much extra happiness from marriage, probably because you already have a rich social network. The extra companionship of marriage, while nice, doesn’t have a marked impact on your overall sense of happiness.

Spend Time in Nature

Numerous studies support the notion that spending time in nature is good for you

  • Walking on quiet, tree-lined paths can result in meaningful improvements to mental health, and even physical changes to the brain
  • Nature walkers have “quieter” brains
  • Sunlight also makes a difference
  • Seasonal affective disorder is real

Volunteer

Linked to health benefits like lower blood pressure and decreased mortality rates

  • Builds resilience
  • Less depression, more life satisfaction, and greater well being
  • Evidence supports a strong link between giving and happiness, and that includes giving your time to others

Declutter

The goal is to free yourself from the weight of meaningless clutter but still surround yourself with useful, beloved things

  • Some tips from the self-help, de-cluttering movement
  • Fold things neatly
  • Keep only items that make you truly happy
  • Throw away papers – all of them
  • Organize your closet by color
  • Stop buying tchotchkes on vacation
  • Spend money on experiences, not things

Controlled Breathing

For centuries yogis have used breath control, or pranayama, to promote concentration and improve vitality.

  • Studies have found that breathing practices can help reduce symptoms associated with anxiety, insomnia, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and attention deficit disorder.

Rewrite Your Story

Writing about oneself and personal experiences can lead to behavioral changes and improve happiness.

  • We all have a personal narrative that shapes our view of the world and ourselves. By writing and then editing our own stories, we can change our perceptions of ourselves and identify obstacles that stand in our way of personal well-being.

Conquer Negative Thinking

Don’t try to stop negative thoughts. Own your worries.

  • When you are in a negative cycle, own your worries and own up to them.
  • Ask yourself what advice you would give a friend who was feeling down on themselves. Challenge your negative thoughts using socratic questioning to change irrational thoughts.

Find Purpose at Work

Studies show that we get satisfaction from all kinds of work – not just our dream job.

  • The jobs that make us happiest are those that include four characteristics: renewal, value, focus and purpose
  • Renewal: Employees who take a break every 90 minutes report a 30 percent higher level of focus than those who take no breaks or just one during the day
  • Value: Feeling cared for by one’s supervisor has a more significant impact on people’s sense of trust and safety than any other behavior by a leader
  • Focus: Only 20 percent of respondents said they were able to focus on one task at a time at work, but those who did were 1.6 times better able to prioritize their tasks
  • Purpose: employees who derive meaning and significance from their work were more than three times as likely to stay with their organizations and are 67 percent more engaged

Be Generous

Generosity makes people happier

  • Several studies have found that people who behaved generously were happier compared to people who made selfish decisions
  • In fact, just thinking about being generous and kind triggers a happiness reaction in our brains
  • If you’re feeling blue, be generous with your money, your time and your resources

The 1-Minute Rule

Do any task that can be finished in one minute

  • It will give you a short boost of happiness after you accomplish so much in a short time – and as a bonus, you will end up with a cleaner room, which will also make you happy.

Good Things Happen in the Bedroom

A lot of potential for happiness happens in the bedroom – it’s the place where we sleep, have sex, and retreat for quiet contemplation – all of which are activities that can improve happiness.

  • Two of the strongest indicators of wellness being sleep and sex
  • Turn your bedroom into a luxury hotel suite
  • Invest in comfort
  • Don’t skimp on window treatments
  • Make the bed

Get Moving

When people get up and move, even a little, they tend to be happier than when they are still

  • More activity goes hand-in-hand with better health and greater happiness
  • Most of the time it wasn’t rigorous activity but just gentle walking that left them in a good mood

Give Yourself a Break

Kristin Neff developed a self-compassion scale to help people measure their own levels of compassion for themselves

  • Use a scale of 1 to 5
  • If you score high on the first five questions and low on the rest, you are pretty tough on yourself
  • When I fail at something important to me I try to keep things in perspective
  • I’m tolerant of my own flaws and inadequacies
  • It takes practice to be nice to yourself

Spend Time With Happy People

People’s happiness depends on the happiness of others with whom they are connected.

  • A person’s happiness extends to three degrees of separation – meaning that it can influence (and be influenced by) their friends, their friends’ friends, and the friends of people who are friends of friends of their friends.

Cats and Dogs Make Us Happy

Psychologists conducted a series of experiments to determine the role that pets play in our happiness

  • They found that pet owners were happier, healthier, and better adjusted than were non-owners
  • Pet owners said they received as much support from their pets as they did family members
  • People who were emotionally closer to the pets also tended to have deeper ties to the humans

Buying Time Promotes Happiness

Spending money on convenience items and time-saving services help can lower stress and make us happier

  • In two surveys of more than 6,000 people in the United States, Canada, Denmark and the Netherlands, researchers found that when people spent money to save time, (such as ordering takeout food, taking a cab, hiring household help or paying someone to run an errand) they were happier than those who didn’t
  • Even very wealthy people can sometimes feel reluctant and guilty about spending money on maids, messengers and other helpers

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