How to find common ground when it seems impossible

How to find common ground when it seems impossible
How to find common ground when it seems impossible

Parent Post

Polarization and conflict seem

Polarization and conflict seem to be everywhere these days, and the workplace is no exception. 

When you spend time with colleagues and managers, conflicts might arise. Whether it’s disagreement on a project issue or a bigger-picture conflict, finding common ground can be challenging.

If you’re at an impasse with a colleague, there are a few ways to approach finding common ground. 

 

Assess the obstaclesYou must

Assess the obstacles

You must ask yourself is what’s standing in your way. Is there some hidden reason that the other party would not want to get to a place of agreement? 

Many times, what you want is to cement your part as an identity. And that requires disagreement, actually not agreeing.

If those types of dynamics exist, you may find yourself routinely in conflict, and it may be difficult to agree. If that’s the case, you may need third-party intervention or ground rules for engaging with the other person.

Determine the type of

Determine the type of disagreement

People typically have three types of disagreements:

  • Disagreement on values
  • Disagreement about what is good
  • Disagreement on basic facts

First, know the common ground you’re searching for. Ask more questions and have discussions, and get the type of disagreement cleared.

Know your top and

Know your top and bottom lines

Finding areas of agreement is a form of negotiation. So, it’s helpful to understand what you want the outcome to be. Figure out your top and bottom lines, walk-away points, and alternatives.

Start thinking creatively.

It’s not about just getting your way out but creating something good out of the situation.

Bring in the right

Bring in the right parties

If you continue to have trouble finding common ground, you may need a third party to help you navigate the situation. 

Having an objective party in the room can help you defuse tension, get your points across, and identify areas of agreement. Mediators are sorting boxes that help you put the right thing in the right compartment to address it and prioritize it.

Choose the right time

Choose the right time and place

When you’re working toward consensus, it’s best to be calm. So, if you’re upset by a disagreement, take some time to cool off.

When planning a time to discuss the matter, allow enough time, so the meeting isn’t hurried. If possible, choose a neutral location or opt for a change of scenery, like a coffee shop rather than someone’s office.

Get curious Preconceived notions

Get curious

Preconceived notions can be the enemy of progress when people are attempting to find common ground. Shed your preconceived thoughts, and become curious about the other person’s beliefs, values, and motivating factors. 

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask each party in the disagreement what they want. But also watch for visual cues or clues about what they may not be sharing. 

Get to know your colleague on a personal level. This will create strong interpersonal communication and collaboration.

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