Many attempts to reverse rivalries fail because of the complex way emotion and reason operate in the building of trust.
Using a method called the 3Rs, an effective leader can turn a rival into a collaborator, setting the stage for a healthy work life while driving fresh thinking within an organization.
- Step 1 of the method is redirection, which involves shifting a rival’s negative emotions away from the adversarial relationship.
- This creates an opening for Step 2, reciprocity, through which a relationship can be established. Here, the essential principle is to give before you ask—offering a rival something of clear benefit and “priming the pump” for a future return that requires little effort on the rival’s part.
- Step 3, rationality, sets expectations of the new relationship so that efforts made using the previous steps don’t come off as disingenuous. A rival is encouraged to see collaborative opportunities from a reasoned standpoint.
A key advantage of the 3Rs is that the method can work to reverse all kinds of rivalries, including those with subordinates, peers, and superiors.
