Use ‘I feel … ’ rather than ‘You always … ’
We make ourselves very vulnerable when we describe your own feelings, particularly if we’re fearful or sad.
We’re so worried about our vulnerability that we’re aggressive in order to cover it up. Sometimes it’s not safe to show people how fragile you are.
If you feel anxious about talking to somebody, don’t just tell them the thing, tell them you’re worried about telling them the thing. Signal that it’s difficult for you.