Want to lead? Be a ‘feedback magnet’

Your boss says: “Can I give you some feedback?” If you’re like me, you brace for impact! 😬😬 And yet… every top exec I’ve met does the opposite. They *hunt down* feedback before people think to give it. They’re feedback magnets. How to acquire this skill —>

Being a feedback magnet is a game changer in your career. 1. Feedback is the only way to see your blind spots. 2. Your colleagues have feedback for you, but they’re not saying it b/c it’s uncomfortable for them.

To break through this type of fear & discomfort, you have to be proactive. Go out of your way to attract feedback. Follow these 2 steps to become a feedback magnet: 1. Manage your knee-jerk reaction to feedback 2. Empower your colleagues to share more quality feedback👇

🔹 To manage your knee-jerk reaction, reframe feedback as an opportunity to grow: EVERYONE has limitations. What sets people apart is how they manage them. Instead of dismissing any feedback, first ask yourself: “What about this COULD be true?”

For example, a colleague told me that I behaved “aggressively” in a meeting. That hurt. I also felt that my colleague’s feedback was biased, because my male counterpart exhibited similar behavior, but that same colleague praised his approach. But I stayed calm & in control.

Here’s how I responded: * thanked him for the feedback * restated my desire for a collaborative relationship * asked which aspects of our interaction didn’t make him feel good * used examples to show why I felt the feedback might be biased I believe we both learned from this.

🔹 My instinct is to justify my actions when I hear tough feedback. When my manager told me I should’ve made sure project was on time, I quickly responded that I couldn’t bc mktg had been late. This defensive explanation didn’t play well.🙄 It made him question my leadership.

Being defensive doesn’t help anyone. Instead, ask questions! Examples: • If you were me, what’s the first thing you’d try to change? • What’s an example of me doing this? • Who do you think is awesome at this?

🔹 The quality of your questions determines the quality of the feedback you receive. Ask super-narrow questions to guide people toward useful comments: Ask: • How can I exceed expectations? • How can this deliverable be 10% better? • What’s 1 thing I can do to support you?

🔹 Swap ‘feedback’ for ‘advice.’ “Feedback” is a loaded term. Not only do you tighten up when you ask for “feedback,” so does the feedback giver. Asking for “advice” is more inviting. It indicates you value their counsel. Ask: “Do you have advice on how I can improve on X?”

TLDR: 2 steps to be a feedback magnet: 1. Manage your knee-jerk reaction to feedback 2. Empower your colleagues to share more quality feedback • Reframe feedback as an oppty to grow • Ask questions to avoid being defensive • Ask narrow questions • Swap feedback for advice

If you want more practical advice to help you navigate real challenges at work, follow me → @shivanisberry I post weekly threads to help you move up faster in your career.