5 Ways to Deal With the Family Bully
71% of family bullying targets reported struggling with stress; 70% indicated that depression and anxiety were a concern; and 55% reported a loss in confidence. If you are being bullied by a family member, there are steps you can take to end the behaviour or protect yourself from its effects.
Assert Yourself
- Being assertive means being honest about how you feel without acting aggressively, engaging in name-calling, or being a bully yourself
- Maintain a positive body stance, make eye contact, stand up straight, and keep your face neutral
- Rehearse what you want to say with someone you trust – a friend or a counsellor
Turn to Someone You Trust
- The key is to find someone you can confide in
- Try to talk to someone who will keep what you say in confidence and not make the situation more difficult
- Don’t try to handle the bullying alone or force yourself to keep silent about the bullying
Make Time to Recharge
Being around a family member who bullies you can be draining and impact your health in negative ways. If you have to spend time with someone because of a family event like a wedding, a funeral, or a baby shower, plan to take time for yourself afterwards. If family bullying begins to take a toll on your emotional health, look for a therapist who specializes in family issues.
Establish Boundaries
- Anytime family members continue to cross the line in their treatment of you, you need to limit the amount of contact you have with them
- Let’s say your partner’s aunt repeatedly insults your cooking and humiliates you in front of others
- If you find this behaviour hurtful, privately let her know that her comments hurt your feelings and that you would like her to stop
- She may never change her behaviour, but you do not have to tolerate it just because she is family
Avoid Getting Emotional
- Remain calm and avoid acting out in anger or frustration when dealing with a family bully
- Remind yourself that you have a choice – you can leave, stand up to the bully, establish a boundary, or try to ignore the bullying