6 Ways to Practice Non-Attachment (and Find Inner Peace)
Non-attachment or release from desire has been spoken about in many religions such as Taoism, Hinduism, Jainism, and the Bahá’í Faith, but this concept is most commonly linked to Buddhism. It allows us to live in this world fully, without being attached to people, things or thoughts that create suffering.
Perspective from major spiritual traditions
The root of suffering is attachment
- When we come to non-attachment, then we can understand the marvelous mystery of the universe
- Act without expectation
- Lao Tzu (Taoism)
- He who is attached to things will suffer much
- Tao Te Ching Aparigraha
- Attach not thyself to anything unless in it thou seest the reality of God
The Mistake of Attaching to Non-Attachment
The whole point of non-attachment is to begin paying attention to your thoughts.
- What occupies your mind all day? What drives you? In what ways are you seeking happiness from the external world rather than the internal world?
Personal Attachment
This is also known as conditional love, as a person loses their value to us once they cease to be a source of comfort in our lives.
- A person who has developed non-attachment, on the other hand, gains their love, acceptance, and validation from themselves, rather than from others, and is able to love unconditionally regardless of what role the person plays in their lives.
Practice allowing
Allowing is about permitting life to be just as it is
What is Non-Attachment?
Non-attachment is about learning how to let go of the thoughts and emotions that create suffering.
- To achieve this, we must learn to observe and disentangle ourselves from our thoughts through practices such as mindful awareness, meditation, and self-inquiry.
- When we can simply allow life to unfold naturally without being attached to outcomes, beliefs, feelings, or opinions, then we experience true non-tachment.
Make friends with uncertainty
When we learn to embrace uncertainty and to allow life to unfold as it wants, we don’t experience fear anymore – instead, we feel calm, curious, and open to all possibilities.
- This openness allows us to adopt a playful attitude towards life because we’re no longer limited by fearing the unknown.
Benefits of Non-Attachment
Stop being controlled by your emotions
- Become interested in them
- Free from the dread, anxiety, and inner tension associated with clinging to expectations
- More curious, open, and spontaneous
- Be more peaceful and less neurotic
- Have a sense of expansive freedom
- Love yourself and others without judgment
- Experience more synchronicity
- Let go of the need to chase happiness which creates unhappiness
Let go of the “shoulds” and “musts”
Pay attention to the use of these two words and how they reflect in your behavior.
- Are you believing that something “should” happen or someone “must” be a certain way? Let it go.
Learn to observe your thoughts and feelings
They only mean something when you assign meaning to them
- When you don’t give thoughts importance, they cease to cause you pain
- Try Vipassana meditation – it helps you stay grounded while discovering you are not your thoughts
- Your thoughts are fluctuations of energy that rise and fall like waves in the ocean
See how transient all things are
All things will eventually die, so appreciate life while you have it
- Use this recognition to fuel your pursuit to find that which doesn’t change, or that which is eternal
- Non-attachment and letting go go hand in hand
- Live with the aliveness, rawness, simplicity of a true Master
Material Attachment
Material possessions are meaningless and transient
- When our happiness and security lies in the external world of objects and things, we are in constant peril
- At any moment our houses could burn down, our treasures could be stolen, our bank accounts could be hacked, our businesses could go bust
- Attachment to the material world is like building a fortress on shifting sands
Thought Attachment
When we attach ourselves to a belief, expectation, preconceived notion, or idea – especially if these are negative or harmful – we in a sense walk around with a loaded gun
- Thought non-attachment: observes a thought, but does not identify with it, and therefore does not attach to the thought
- Allows us to be liberated from the narrow cycles of the mind that we become trapped in, to a more expansive and open-minded perception of the world
Stop looking for happiness in external things
Instead, try to direct your attention inwards
- At first, seeking happiness from within (involution) can be extremely difficult
- Regularly setting aside time to be quiet and still with yourself can help you tune into this inner space