How to become a feedback magnet
Parent Post
Most advice centers around
Most advice centers around improving feedback, but we rarely focus on how to attract useful feedback about ourselves — even though it’s in our own best interest to do so.
Knowing what other people think about you can be life-changing. On the flip side, not getting this intel is a silent career killer.
You get passed over for new roles or special assignments without ever understanding why you never get an opportunity to develop and prove you can do better.
Assume good intent and
Assume good intent and follow up with gratitude.
Remind yourself that the person giving you the feedback is taking a risk by giving you their honest take.
Instead of shooting the messenger, take a moment to appreciate that they want you to succeed, and are helping you grow.
Thanking them reinforces that you’re truly grateful.
Reflect on the feedback
Reflect on the feedback you’ve received.
Resist the urge to push back. Instead, thank the feedback giver and set aside time to reflect on the feedback you’ve received.
Once you’re in a clear state of mind, decide how to respond and evaluate the feedback. Follow up with the feedback giver to share your reflections.
Even if you disagree, it may be an opportunity to improve how you relate or communicate with someone else.
Swap feedback for advice.
Swap feedback for advice.
Feedback is a loaded term. Not only do you tighten up when you ask for feedback, so does the feedback giver.
Swapping it out for advice is more inviting and indicates you value your colleague’s counsel.
Instead of saying “Can I have some feedback on what I could have done better?” say “Do you have any advice on how I can improve on X?”
Learn how to manage
Learn how to manage your knee-jerk reaction.
To become a feedback magnet, you have to train yourself out of the knee-jerk “Uh-oh!” reaction that so many of us feel when someone attempts to give feedback.
If you don’t keep your cool when receiving the feedback, your colleagues will feel frustrated or even more uncomfortable than they already do. They’ll also be less open to listening to your explanation of your behavior, or re-evaluating whether you were truly at fault.
Get people invested.Make it
Get people invested.
Make it easy for your team to help you and prove to them that you’ll actually act on their feedback.
Start by sharing your improvement areas and ask them in advance for feedback as they see you in action. This will help call their attention to it and de-risk their fears around giving you feedback.
Next, close the loop by following up with an action plan to show how you’ll apply the feedback they gave you.
When you share more specifics around how you’d like to grow and then follow up to close the loop, folks will root for your success more!
Here are a few
Here are a few ways to practice.
Reframe feedback as an opportunity to grow.
No matter what it is or whom it comes from, top performers see all feedback as a growth opportunity.
Even if they completely disagree with it or don’t have much respect for the feedback-giver, they can still learn from what that person has to say.
Ask questions to avoid
Ask questions to avoid being defensive.
You can’t trust your initial reaction to feedback. Defensive responses are driven by common fears about our own competence, and fear is a powerful distorter of the messages we hear. Instead of giving in to these fears, you’ll learn more by leaning into your inquisitive side and asking questions.
In addition to gaining valuable insight into the feedback giver’s perspective, asking questions will also help you clarify what they’re actually saying.
When you practice these
When you practice these techniques, your aim is to create a welcoming space for your colleagues to give you candid feedback.
You’ll get critical insights to help you improve in real-time. As a result, you’ll accelerate your career growth and build stronger relationships.
Being a feedback magnet
Being a feedback magnet is a game-changer in your career trajectory for two reasons:
- Feedback is the only way to see your blind spots.
- Your colleagues already have feedback for you. Their unspoken impressions contain precious insights — if only you could get them to communicate those impressions out loud.
So here are two steps to becoming afeedback magnet.
Empower your colleagues to
Empower your colleagues to share more.
To get the unfiltered truth, you need to do more than just invite people to give you feedback; you need to remove any and all friction.
The biggest sources of friction include:
- People’s unspoken fears about giving you negative feedback.
- Uncertainty about how to phrase their feedback.
- Self-consciousness about whether their feedback is useful.
Here are some tips
Here are some tips to solicit more feedback that actually helps you improve.
Narrow the question.
The quality of your questions determines the quality of the feedback you receive.
Instead of asking vague questions like, “Do you have any feedback for me?” or “How can I improve?” ask specific questions to unearth truly constructive feedback.
A narrow question reduces the mental burden for your colleagues. It also gives them permission to share candid feedback.