How to cope when life seems unreal
Feeling detached from reality can be a disconcerting experience. Explore strategies to ground yourself, understand the potential causes of this sensation, and learn how to navigate through the fog of unreality to regain a sense of normalcy and control.
If you feel detached from the world, you might be going through depersonalisation.
About 2% of people live with ongoing and unwanted feelings of unreality
- Depersonalization is often described as feeling like you’re “in a dream” or “not really there”
- The physiological causes and correlates of this are still largely understood, but brain scans of people diagnosed with this disorder have found that they show reduced activity in parts of the brain involved in processing emotions in response to emotional pictures or when memorizing words compared to controls
- This could be useful in life-or-death situations as it suppresses the terror associated with mortal danger
- However, when this blunting becomes chronic it could contribute to the problems of detachment and unreality associated with it
Why isn’t depersonalisation disorder more widely known?
Symptoms and triggers are less distinct and obvious than those of other anxiety-based conditions.
- It is difficult to diagnose because the visible symptoms are not so striking.
- Growing awareness
- Celebrities such as Adam Duritz have spoken up about it, and it’s increasingly featured in mainstream news publications
- As the legalisation of cannabis continues, the number of cases will continue to grow, increasing awareness of the disorder.
Links & Books
Unreal is a UK-based charity that raises awareness of depersonalisation and derealisation disorder, and provides online resources.
- The DPD Diaries YouTube channel offers a helpful and informative series of videos presented by Joe Perkins, a trustee of the Unreal charity, who has first-hand experience of depERSONALisation disorder. He uses his channel to discuss various aspects of the condition.
- If you are struggling with psychological difficulties, we encourage you to seek help from a professional source.
What to do
Recognize the feelings as a normal and harmless part of the fight-or-flight response can help you stop that feedback loop and allow the feelings to fade away naturally.
- In its transient form, depersonalisation is an odd, but only momentary sensation. The problem becomes more serious if you find it difficult to stop reality checking.
- Reality testing is a positive sign, but try to avoid constant checking.
How to cope when life seems unreal
Depersonalization is also part of the brain’s protective mechanism at times of high anxiety
- Focusing excessively on feelings of unreality and catastrophizing about them can inadvertently cause them to persist for longer than the trigger incident and interfere with daily life
- Recognizing depersonalisation and understanding its causes can help prevent it from escalating