How to handle negativity without being annoyingly positive
Positive psychology shows that people who react in a positive manner in the workplace have stronger relationships, greater psychological safety, and enhanced learning, creativity and motivation.
We aren’t accurately defining or living positivity in our workplaces
- Toxic positivity is defined as the denial, suppression, or ignoring of negative emotions
- When we fail to acknowledge negative feelings, we deny the opportunity for personal growth
- Healthy workplaces create venues for the expression of fear, anger, or doubt
Cultivate a growth mindset
- Believe that you can change and grow over time to be better
- Use this strategy to acknowledge that, in this moment, you are sad, angry, or fearful, but that you will work through it and come out better for it
- It is an internal dialogue that says, “I have dealt with hard things before, and I will again.”
Ask thoughtful questions
Consider the following questions:
- It seems you are (angry), what happened that led you to feel that way?
- Tell me more about what is going on for you right now.
- How would you describe what you are feeling right now?
We underestimate the complexity of emotion, as well as our skills navigating it
- When we suppress negative emotions, we fail to give ourselves or others a chance to grapple with them
- Managing emotions comes from building emotional intelligence (EI)
- The mere act of labelling our feelings (a common EI technique) helps us release them
Hold space for the real emotion that needs to be recognized
- The real emotion (fear, anger, sadness, contempt) is often the very one we want to avoid
- They often feel painful, and we lack the skills to proactively manage them
- Holding space allows us to process and express our feelings when we are ready
We fail to appreciate the value of negative emotions
- We convince ourselves that if we can avoid the bad feelings and force the good feelings, everything will just fall into place
- Actually, emotions are neutral
- Embracing the reality of our negative emotions, without getting stuck in them paves the way for a healthier path forward