How to know what you really want
Luke Burgis is a veteran entrepreneur who formally studied philosophy and theology, and is currently entrepreneur-in-residence at the Ciocca Center for Principled Entrepreneurship at the Catholic University of America in Washington, DC. He writes a regular Substack newsletter called Anti-Mimetic.
Desire is a social process – it is mimetic
Desire (as opposed to need) is an intellectual appetite for things that you perceive to be good, but that you have no physical, instinctual basis for wanting – and that’s true whether those things are actually good or not.
- We would like our desires to come from our deepest selves, our personal depths,’ he said, ‘but if it did, it would not be desire. Desire is always for something we lack.’
- Each of us is occasionally overwhelmed by a multitude of competing desires: pursue job offer A or B? Start a new relationship or stay single? Sign up to run a marathon, or enjoy not getting up early to train?
- Understanding the mechanism by which desires take shape can help us avoid living our lives in an endless merry-go-round of desire.
Why it matters
Mimetic desire is part of the human condition, so it cuts across all domains of life
- Relationships
- Many people don’t realize that they are in a mimetic rivalry with their own romantic partner or spouse
- Social media
- Be extremely careful and intentional about whom you ‘follow’, and realize that everything you say or do is a model of desire for someone else
- Career development
- Identify and develop some core ‘thick’ desires that underly your motivation, rather than to think in terms of specific job titles, occupations, or organizations
- Possessions
- Reframe material things, not material possessions, to help you prioritize what you desire
Links & Books
The five-minute video ‘How to Know What You Really Want’ (2021) for Big Think explains the difference between ‘thin’ and ‘thick’ desires and how to tell them apart
- René Girard Explains Mimetic Desire (2018) produced by Imitatio, a foundation set up to make Girard’s ideas more widely known and understood
- ‘The Invention of Blame (Scapegoat Mechanism)’ from the YouTube channel Vsauce2 explains the darker side of mimetic theory: how unrestrained mimesis spreads through contagion until it results in conflict and violence within a community
Think it through
Identify the people influencing what you want
- Models of desire who serve as mediators, coloring what you consider to be desirable
- Categorize your models as internal and external
- Girard identified two main types: those inside your world and those outside it
- Internal models of desire: people you might come into contact with (friends, family, co-workers, etc.)
- External models: people whose desires are intertwined with your own and they can affect your desires, and you can in turn affect theirs
- You never know when something you tweet or post on social media is going to be noticed by someone you don’t know
- The mediation of desire comes first from social influences
Key points
Desire is a social process – it’s mimetic
- Our desires don’t come from within; rather, we mimic what other people want
- Identify the people influencing you
- Categorize these models
- Take ownership of your desires
- Live an anti-mimetic life