How to recognize you’re being a judgmental jerk (and what to do about it)
Judgmental behavior typically involves appraising something like a situation, person, or action with a critical attitude. A person often does this in a condemning and fault-finding way using their subjective (likely moralistic) point of view and set of values. This can affect your work in a negative way, likely impacting team and interpersonal dynamics.
You risk being insular
Being judgmental often comes with giving your point of view supremacy over the values and views of others
- Thinking that your way is the only way could result in being less likely to see other colleagues’ perspectives as being relevant or important
- Consequently, you may be impacting your own productivity, learning, and growth
You jump to conclusions
Passing judgment often implies making a decision before considering all the facts
- This may also impact your willingness to look at information objectively or make an attempt to comprehend the full picture
- Your partial view of a colleague may lead you to jump to a conclusion about her when it may turn out that she is a single mom who also takes care of a frail elderly parent
Be empathetic
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and experience what they experienced to see if you can learn from their mistakes and make better decisions based on what you would do if you were in their shoes
- Reevaluate your approach if you find yourself judging someone else based on past actions
You can’t see beyond win or lose
Judgmental people tend to evaluate things as either right or wrong, black or white
- This blanket assessment, aligned with the first two points, makes them paint things with one brush
- Making conclusive judgments-particularly about people, behaviors, or options without considering gray areas-may limit your perceptions and keep you from taking a win-win approach that has validity and value
Learn to separate the person from the action
If a person behaves in a manner that is questionable or that you disapprove of, the tendency is to think it relates to a personality flaw rather than the situation
- This so-called fundamental attribution error is the propensity for people to overemphasize personal characteristics and ignore situational factors when they’re judging others’ behavior
Three things you can do to avoid being judgmental
Judgmental people often make their colleagues feel shame and indignity about their choices, values, approach to work, or their general behavior. This may result in people not wanting to be around you or to build a relationship with you that fosters teamwork and workplace dynamics.
Avoid loaded words
If you find yourself classifying someone’s behavior, actions, or values using hypercritical words like lazy, dishonest, or stupid, take a step back and ask yourself, “Is my perception of this situation based on a full view of the picture?” or, “Am I imposing my own values here and what alternate explanation is there for this behavior?”