Keep Showing Up – Karen Ehman
True love is the steadfast presence of your lover, the willingness to stick it out when things get rocky. It demonstrates love when no one else is looking. True love is wholly committed, costing the giver time and effort.
In Short
The Hollywood projections of their love stories have broken many hearts. Three truths behind marriage tell many different stories, which we may call “behind the scenes.” Marriage is a test of a person’s patience and commitment towards each other. This book might save your marriage and rejuvenate the love that you experienced when you saw your soulmate for the first time. Through this book, Ehman offers many lessons that can help anyone achieve serenity in marriage.
Quality Time
Love and affection are expressed through this love language when someone gives someone else their undivided attention. This means putting down the cell phone and turning off the tablet, making eye contact, and actively listening. People with this love language are looking for quality over quantity. So, when you get together, they feel loved if you are present and focused on them. Make sure that you make eye contact, affirm what the other person is saying, and refrain from offering advice.
Acts of Service
When someone’s primary love language is acts of service, they feel loved and appreciated when people do nice things for them. Whether it’s helping with the dishes or putting gas in the car, little acts of service go straight to the person’s heart. They love when people do little things for them and often can be found doing little things for others.
Receiving Gifts
To a person whose love language is receiving gifts, gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection in their mind. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift giver put into it. What’s more, they do not necessarily expect large or expensive gifts, the love language receiving gifts is more what is behind the gift that appeals to them.
2. Understand Love Languages
We all express and feel love differently. Consequently, understanding those differences can have a serious impact on your relationship. There are five primary love languages that people speak. These include
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Physical touch.
4. Acts of service
5. Receiving gifts.
Lessons Learnt
1. First, according to the New Testament, love goes through four different stages.
2. Love has different languages, and we must learn how to understand and appreciate each one.
3. Second, seek guidance from God through prayer if you need to overcome turbulent times.
Words Of Affirmation
In simple terms, the words of affirmation “Love language” is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone’s primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement. They also enjoy uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages. You can make this person’s day by complimenting them or pointing out what they do well.
Physical Touch
A person with this love language feels loved through physical affection. Aside from sex, those who have physical touch as their primary love language feel loved when their partner shows physical affection in some way like holding their hand, touching their arm, or giving them a massage at the end of the day. Additionally, their idea of a perfect date might include cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine and a good movie. They simply want to be close to their partners physically.
1. Love Changes With Time
Love is a powerful sentiment that has to be maintained and nurtured in a marriage. However, we can’t expect it to stay the same forever, even if we care for our partner and do everything right. Over time, love changes and takes different forms, and we have to learn to evolve with it and with our partners. According to the New Testament, love takes four different forms:
1. Erotic love
2. Brotherly love
3. Familial love
4. Love that originates with God
Stages Of Love
Erotic love—passion: This type of affection happens when we first fall for someone, but it fades over time and evolves into something else. This type of love is selfish, as it’s all about how the other person makes us feel.
Brotherly love, similar to friendship: This is a normal and quite important stage of marriage. This part of love is conditional, as we love someone because they feel the same for us.
Familial love: We love our significant other because we’re expected to love them by this time in the relationship. However, it’s dangerous to let our love sit here for too long, as it can get monotonous.
Love that originates with God: This is unconditional love. This type is selfless, similar to the love God has for us. Love the other person despite his faults and not for his actions. At this stage, a successful marriage should be kind, loving, and peaceful.