More From How to Build a Life
Embarking on the journey of constructing a fulfilling life is a profound endeavor. It's about more than just the physical; it's about crafting a rich, meaningful existence. Let's delve into the art of life-building, exploring its many facets and complexities.
How to Build a Life
Americans are emerging from the pandemic more stressed out and reactive than ever
- Emotional flooding is an automatic physical and mental response to an unexpected negative reaction by another, usually close person, an encounter we can perceive as a threat
- Beyond hurting personal relationships at home and creating all kinds of difficulties out in the world, emotional flooding significantly impairs decision making
Write it down
Managing your emotions is like home improvement: You can teach yourself to do a lot of it well, but it’s best to get some professional assistance when the job is particularly tricky.
- Journaling is one of the best ways to achieve metacognition, which in turn creates emotional knowledge and regulation, which provide a sense of control.
Count to 30 (and imagine the consequences).
“When angry, count ten, before you speak,” Thomas Jefferson wrote. “If very angry, an hundred.”
- Imposing a 30-second response delay on everyone reduced aggression significantly, but only when there were negative consequences (having to perform a task) to being aggressive.
Observe your feelings
Sit quietly and think about the feelings you are experiencing.
- Then, say to yourself, “I am not this anger. It will not manage me or make my decisions for me.” This metacognition will leave you calm and empowered.