The Gap and The Gain – Dan Sullivan, Dr. Benjamin Hardy
A good life, plenty of happiness, and awareness. A book that encourages reflection on your precious life.
Understand the gap and embrace the freedom of wants and desires
An unhealthy “need” or attachment to something outside of yourself is the foundation of the GAP. You are attempting to free yourself from something, and until you succeed, happiness will elude you.
When you’re in the GAP, you’re attempting to get “there,” while avoiding “here,” without ever getting there.
Journaling Questions
- What standards do you use to evaluate your own performance?
- Which particular reference points did you pick, and why?
- How do you define and assess your own success?
- Are the benchmarks you use to gauge your progress external or internal?
- How frequently do you judge yourself against others?
- How long do you typically spend on social media?
- Are you self-determined and free?
Self-Assessment Questions
- When was the last time you entered the GAP because you thought you needed something when initially only wanted it?
- The last time you entered the GAP by evaluating yourself against others was when?
- When was the last time you turned a negative situation into a gain so you could move on?
Measure three daily wins
What you do in the 60 minutes before bed has a huge impact on the quality of your sleep as well as the direction and quality of your next day.
Write down three victories from that day in your journal. Then, make a list of the three biggest wins you’ll have the following day.
Think about what you love
- In what areas of your life do you have an obsessive passion, and what unmet internal need are you trying to satiate in those areas?
- What do you love most about your life and job?
- What is your long game? You are doing what you love when you are playing the long game. You aren’t acting in a way that will only advance your progress.
Transform Every Experience Into a Gain
Being in the GAIN is about transforming every experience that life throws at you to serve you. You act like a victim when you’re in the GAP. When you’re in the GAIN, you have complete control over the meaning of your past.
You treasure your past and use it as valuable feedback to clarify what you truly want and value.
Self Determination
Because the success criteria are constantly shifting, it is impossible to feel successful when using external reference points.
You’ve established your own reference point when you leave the GAP and enter the GAIN.
Your life is controlled by someone or something outside of you, according to the GAP. If you have the GAIN, you are living a self-determined life.
The compound effect of the gap or gain
The GAP has a compounding detrimental impact on your life. However, being a part of GAIN has a positive compounding impact on your life.
Because there is a language for them, the GAP and the GAIN are useful tools. Give those you love permission to call you out when you enter the GAP by explaining the GAP and the GAIN concepts to them.
Your Life Experiences: Ask Yourself
- Consider any specific experience, positive or negative, and ask yourself, “What worked in this experience?”
- What “usefulness” can you derive from this experience to help you in the future?
- What can you learn about what you don’t want from this experience?
- How will you approach your future differently now that you know what you know because of this experience?
- What aspects of this experience make you grateful?
Understanding The Gain
Being in harmony with what you want and realizing that you don’t need it is the foundation of the GAIN. When you’re a part of the GAIN, your life is based on harmonious passion and intrinsic motivation, which promotes flow and high performance.
Always measure in reverse
It is a good idea to keep a journal or conduct an annual review to look back on your past and recognize your enormous GAINS.
Your hope, motivation, confidence, and resilience are all increased when you are reminded of the easily forgotten past. You’re not exactly the same person you were before. Even in the last 90 days, you’ve changed and grown a lot.
Questions you can ask yourself about your evolution
- Where am I at this moment?
- What are my accomplishments over the last 90 days?
- What are my objectives for the next 90 days?
- Where will I be in a year?
- Where will I be in three years?