When Things Have to Change: How to Find the Willpower to Achieve Your Goals
Change is inevitable, yet often challenging. Unearthing the willpower to pursue your goals can seem daunting. Let's delve into the art of embracing change and harnessing inner strength to achieve what you aspire for, without fear or hesitation.
My biggest fear is rejection and what happens after
I’ve just come out of the closet, my parents have rejected me, and I am terrified, really, really terrified, because I’m completely alone, and the pain is unbearable
- With no one to turn to, I find comfort at the bottom of a bag of chips
- Feelings of depression, lack of confidence, and fear of failure drive me to seek comfort with Aunt Jamima instead of with a new diet plan
- This vicious cycle of depression and binge eating leads me to a state of paralysis, and obesity
- Eventually, with therapy, I was able to break out of my depression and drop thirty pounds
- My parents have since grown to love and accept my gayness
- Here are five strategies to help alleviate your emotional triggers
Strategy #1: Chunking
Take a large task and break it down into smaller, more manageable pieces to increase your confidence and willpower
- Think, “What is the next right move for me in this moment?”
- Tell yourself, “I’ll go to the gym and I’ll do just a five-minute workout.”
High-Level Thinking
High-level thoughts focus on why you want to complete a task, and are charged with a sense of meaning and purpose.
- Thinking in this way reduces the resistance to the task at hand and reduces the amount of willpower required to accomplish goals. e.g. “Why do I want to workout today?”
Strategy #2: Confidence
Approaching a task with confidence will decrease the willpower required to complete said task, and feelings of self-doubt and insecurity will begin to melt away.
- Change the way you frame your goals
- Once you truly believe in yourself, you are able to accomplish something that you thought was impossible.
Conclusion
These five strategies-chunking, confidence, perception, identity, and high-level thinking-are all tools to add to your tool box to help you alleviate negative emotional triggers, increase willpower, and ensure you reach your goals
Perception
Perception is everything when it comes to maintaining willpower. It will make or break your chances for success.
- Create your own reality – the beliefs you hold dictate the world around you. The limitations you put on yourself are the limitations that also hold you back. Create a new narrative for yourself, one in which you are empowered to achieve your goals, and you will transform limitations into strengths.
Identity
Changing the stories you tell yourself will change the narrative and open the door for real change in your life.
- For example, if you are a smoker, change your story to “I do not smoke”
- This will decrease the amount of willpower required to quit smoking and increase your happiness.