Why We Hate People Telling Us What to Do
Ever wondered why the phrase "Don't tell me what to do" resonates so strongly? It's a universal sentiment, deeply rooted in our psychology. Let's delve into the reasons behind our aversion to unsolicited advice and imposed directives.
Psychological reactance
When people feel that their choices are restricted, or that others are telling them what to do, they sometimes rebel and do the opposite
- Threats to freedom include any time someone suggests or makes you do something.
- People who strongly feel reactance in response to threats to freedom feel an urge to do something – that something can be restoring one’s freedom by rebelling against the advised or prescribed action
Reframing the experience so it is no longer a threat to freedom is one way we can try to avoid psychological reactance
Just because someone suggests something to us or asks us to do something, they are not necessarily trying to control us
- Other ways to reduce reactance include telling participants that “they are free to decide for themselves what is good for them” after being told to do a specific health behavior, etc.
References
Dillard, J. P., & Shen, L. (2005). On the nature of reactance and its role in persuasive health communication. Communication Monographs, 72(2), 144-168
- Bessarabova, E., Fink, E. L., & Turner, M. (2013). Reactance, restoration, and cognitive structure: Comparative statics. Human Communication Research, 39(3), 339-364
- Steindl, C. (2007). Psychological reactance: The effects of controlling language, lexical concreteness, and the restoration of freedom
- What reasons might the other one have?-Perspective taking to reduce psychological reactance in individualists and collectivists