Beyond Win/Lose: The True Nature of Negotiation
Traditional negotiation often feels like a contest, but the Harvard Negotiation Project argues this thinking is flawed. True negotiation isn’t about splitting things 50/50 or ‘winning’ at the expense of the other side. Instead, it’s about collaboratively finding solutions that satisfy both parties’ underlying needs and interests, preserving the relationship in the process.
Focus on Interests, Not Positions
Often, we argue from fixed positions (e.g., ‘I want the window open’). The key is to uncover the ‘why’ behind these positions. By asking clarifying questions and understanding the other side’s underlying interests, you can discover creative solutions that address their true needs, just like the librarian found a way to provide fresh air without disturbing papers.
Leverage Fair Standards for Resolution
When conflicts arise, move beyond personal demands by introducing objective criteria. This could be market prices, legal requirements, or expert opinions that both sides can agree upon as unbiased rules. By focusing on shared standards, you transform a clash of wills into a collaborative effort to find a fair solution, as seen in the ‘cake-cutting’ example.
Invent Options for Mutual Gain
Don’t settle for splitting the difference; brainstorm creative solutions that benefit both parties. Differences in preferences, often seen as obstacles, can actually be catalysts for innovative outcomes. The story of the orange, where one wanted the fruit and the other the peel, highlights how understanding diverse needs can lead to both parties getting 100% of what they truly desired.
Separate the People from the Problem
Approach negotiations with a mindset of being ‘soft on the person, but hard on the problem.’ This means acknowledging and respecting the other individual’s perspective and feelings, while remaining firm and analytical about the issues at hand. Building rapport and understanding their viewpoint can prevent emotional impasses and foster productive dialogue.
Navigating Power Imbalances with BATNA
When facing a more powerful party, your best defense is a strong BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). Developing a clear understanding of what you’ll do if a deal isn’t reached gives you leverage and confidence to walk away from an unfavorable offer. This ‘power to walk away’ significantly strengthens your negotiating position.
Countering Dirty Tactics: Negotiation Jujitsu
Instead of reacting defensively to personal attacks or tricky tactics, use ‘negotiation jujitsu’ to sidestep and redirect. This involves looking beyond their position to understand their true interests, asking for their advice (‘If you were me, what would you do?’), or inviting criticism to uncover underlying concerns. This diffuses tension and shifts focus back to problem-solving.
Relationship Building: The Unsung Hero
Initiating contact and building a personal relationship before a negotiation can dramatically improve outcomes. Arriving early or staying late to chat, or finding common ground, transforms a transactional encounter into a collaborative one. Studies show that simply getting to know the other side can increase negotiation success by 25-30%.
“”In negotiations, asking who’s winning is like asking that in a marriage. If you’re focused on winning, you’ve missed the point. The real goal is working together and finding a solution that satisfies both sides’ interests.””
“”People often assume differences in negotiation create problems, yet these differences can lead to solutions… It’s absurd to think your differences lead to the problem; it’s actually the differences that lead to Creative Solutions.””
