Unleash the transformative potential of inquiries with 'The Surprising Power of Questions'. Discover how the right questions can spark innovation, drive change, and foster deep connections. Prepare to redefine your understanding of this simple yet profound tool of communication.
Most of us don’t ask enough questions, nor do we pose our inquiries in an optimal way
By asking questions, we naturally improve our emotional intelligence, which in turn makes us better questioners-a virtuous cycle
- In this article, we draw on insights from behavioral science research to explore how the way we frame questions and choose to answer our counterparts can influence the outcome of conversations
Get the sequence right
During tense encounters, asking tough questions first can make your conversational partner more willing to open up
- If the goal is to build relationships, the opposite approach-opening with less sensitive questions and escalating slowly-seems to be most effective
- Good interlocutors understand that questions asked previously in a conversation can influence future queries
Pay attention to group dynamics
Not only is the willingness to answer questions affected by the presence of others, but members of a group tend to follow one another’s lead
- In a meeting or group setting, it takes only a few closed-off people for questions to lose their probing power
- As soon as one person starts to open up, the rest of the group is likely to follow suit
Deciding what to keep private
Dodging or answering a question you wish you had been asked
- Deliberately dodging can help you protect information you’d rather keep private and build rapport with your conversational partner
- Another effective strategy is deflecting
- Answer a probing question with another question or a joke
Favor follow-up questions
These signals to your conversation partner that you are listening, care, and want to know more.
- They don’t require much preparation and come naturally to interlocutors. People interacting with a partner who asks lots of follow-ups questions feel respected and heard.
Conclusion
Questions and thoughtful answers foster smoother and more-effective interactions, they strengthen rapport and trust, and they lead groups toward discovery.
- The wellspring of all questions is wonder and curiosity and a capacity for delight. We pose and respond to queries in the belief that the magic of a conversation will produce a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.
Know when to keep questions open-ended
No one likes to feel interrogated-and some types of questions can force answerers into a yes-or-no corner
- Open-ended questions counteract this effect
- They can be particularly useful in uncovering information or learning something new
- Sometimes the information you wish to ascertain is so sensitive that direct questions won’t work
Use the right tone:
People are more forthcoming when you ask questions in a casual way, rather than in a buttoned-up, official tone.
- An overly formal tone is likely to inhibit people’s willingness to share information.
- People also tend to be more forthcoming if given an escape hatch or “out” in a conversation.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Get
Most people do not ask enough questions. Why is this?
- People may be egocentric, apathetic, or just not care enough to ask questions
- Research suggests that people have conversations to accomplish information exchange and impression management
- Recent research shows that asking questions achieves both
- Questions are powerful tools that they can be beneficial-perhaps particularly so-in circumstances when question asking goes against social norms
The New Socratic Method
The first step in becoming a better questioner is simply to ask more questions.
- There are several approaches that can enhance the power and efficacy of queries:
- Best approach for a given situation depends on the goals of the conversationalists
The Best Response
Before a conversation takes place, think carefully about whether refusing to answer tough questions would do more harm than good.
- To maximize the benefits of answering questions-and minimize the risks-it’s important to decide before a conversation begins what information you want to share and what you are willing to keep private.
