People’s motives are unknowable. Let go of the need for a reason. Ignore their explanations. The only true facts are their actions
Derek Sivers’ latest thought-provoking work, “Useful Not True,” is all about challenging your perception of “truth” and embracing what’s genuinely useful for your life.
“Useful Not True” is about reframing.Success in anything starts with your perspective which affects your strategy — your actions.Your first thought (“this is a disaster”) feels true, but it’s not the only perspective.Your first thought is an obstacle you need to get past by realizing no thoughts are necessarily true.
After your initial impulse, consider other perspectives, then choose the thought that’s more useful to you — the one that makes you take effective actions.
Nothing has inherent meaning. Whatever meaning you project into it is your own
Understanding others
People share perspectives, not facts. They tell you how they see things.Like someone across the world telling you the time. Maybe it’s true for them, but not for you, and not for most other people.
Brains lie to their owners. Nobody knows the real reasons why they do anything.When someone says, “I believe…”, then whatever they say next is not a fact. No beliefs are necessarily true.Beliefs are perspectives. Explanations are confabulated. Obligations are wishes. Rules are arbitrary. They’re useful, but not necessarily true.Knowing this gives you empathy, as you understand people’s incentives behind their beliefs.
Here are the big ideas that will help you reframe your world:
Don’t Chase “Truth,” Chase Utility
This book isn’t about what’s “true” in an absolute, objective sense, because Sivers argues almost nothing is. Instead, it’s about letting go of dogmatic thinking and embracing ideas and beliefs that are useful to you. What’s useful? Whatever helps you do what you need to do, be who you want to be, or simply feel at peace. Remember, “not true” doesn’t mean false; it just means another possibility exists. This freedom allows you to doubt existing ways of thinking and reframe your perspective.
Perceptions Aren’t Facts
When people state something as fact, like “What time is it?” or “You can’t do that,” they’re usually just sharing their current perspective—their “time zone”. No single picture captures the whole reality; photos merely show what the photographer wants to present, not the objective truth. Facts can be verifiable, but the perspective through which they are presented might not be the complete picture. So, next time someone presents their viewpoint as undeniable fact, remember it’s probably just one slice of a much larger pie.
Your Brain Invented That Explanation
Ever wonder why you did something? Your brain’s a master storyteller, inventing explanations that feel absolutely true to you, even when they’re not. Controlled experiments with brain-damaged patients show this clearly: they’ll create a logical-sounding reason for an action they were prompted to do, and completely believe it. This applies to major life choices, emotions, and even conflicts. The punchline? “People’s motives are unknowable. Let go of the need for a reason. Ignore their explanations. The only true facts are their actions”.
The Past and Future Are Just Stories
We often think of the past as concrete fact, but it’s just “one story based on one point of view”. Misunderstandings, even tiny ones, can amplify over time. Studies show memories are shockingly inaccurate; people confidently misremember their own past, proving you can’t trust your memory. As for the future? It doesn’t exist. It’s purely “imagination”. While predictions can be pointless, they become useful if they inspire actions that lead to a better outcome. So, re-edit your mind’s movies of the past and craft a useful future.
Unpack Hidden Judgments
Be wary of words that appear factual but are actually veiled judgments. When someone labels another as “needy,” “stubborn,” or “inappropriate,” it often reveals more about the speaker’s unmet expectations or personal norms than about the person being described. For example, “Calling someone ‘needy’ means ‘I couldn’t give that person what they wanted'”. To truly understand a situation, strip away these loaded words and get to the “actual facts, stripped of judgement and personal interpretation”.
Rules Are Negotiable Games
From kids’ games to government policies, rules are arbitrary and designed by people, often quickly and without much thought. They’re a useful starting point, but not the final answer.
Society often prefers rules to remain static, but improving them is necessary. Believing you “can’t make change” leads to helplessness and frustration. Instead, view rules as a game that can be changed, or even ignored when doing so serves a greater, more rational, and moral good. “The world is as negotiable as a flea market in Marrakesh”.
Even Science Isn’t “True”
Contrary to popular belief, science isn’t about absolute truth, but continuous improvement. Every scientific conclusion is an invitation for refinement, a step towards being “less and less wrong”.
Newton’s laws are not “true” in an absolute sense, as Einstein refined them, and quantum mechanics revealed further limitations, yet they remain useful for many purposes. The lesson: “A theory doesn’t have to be true to be useful”. Embrace curiosity over correctness, and see being wrong as inspiring.
Your Thoughts Aren’t Objective Reality
Just as you perceive others’ beliefs as “weird” or “superstitions,” your own deeply held values and principles might seem silly to someone else. You are on “the other side of the river”.
Furthermore, your mind is constantly “in the dark, inside your skull,” interpreting limited signals and confidently inventing “facts”. This means you often don’t know why you want or choose things; subconscious influences guide your decisions. Realizing your mind can trick you is terrifying, but it ultimately leads to clear-eyed humility and adaptation.
Beliefs Are “Make Believe,” Not Facts
Like children playing “monster in the hallway,” grown-ups engage in their own version of “make believe”. Statements like “Everything happens for a reason” or “Those people are evil” aren’t true, but “people like the way it feels to believe”. Beliefs help us adopt identities, take action, or cooperate.
The problem arises when we confuse these useful constructs with reality, insisting they are “absolutely true”. Remember, if something were a fact, there would be no need to declare a belief in it.
What’s the Point of “Truth”?
When you “seek the truth,” what do you really want? Often, it’s an emotional state like feeling “well-informed and certain,” which isn’t necessarily tied to facts. Your emotions decide; facts are often just used to rationalize those decisions. Instead of asking if a belief is “right,” ask “Which belief will lead to the action you need now?”. Beliefs drive emotions, and emotions drive actions. So, choose a belief not for its objective veracity, but for the positive behavior it will cause.
Judge the Contents, Not the Box
It’s easy to dismiss a whole system or person if one aspect is flawed or disliked. Like rejecting a health course because you dislike the coach’s politics, or trashing a wise book because a few sentences were plagiarized. This is “judging a box instead of its contents”. By seeking “true” instead of “useful,” you “lose the benefits — the baby with the bathwater”. Cultivate the ability to “listen without prejudice to ideas from anyone” and “find what’s useful, not true”.
Choose the Perspective That Empowers You
A fact, like having ten million dollars, has no inherent meaning; its meaning is whatever you project onto it. This projected meaning, however, can profoundly inspire action. Similarly, how you frame a hero’s story—as flawless inspiration or as a flawed, relatable figure—determines whether it empowers or discourages you. The key is to notice “which perspective empowers you, making you take the actions you need. Then select your story accordingly”. This is about finding the useful frame, not the “true” one.
Reframe Your Reality
The core practice is reframing: deliberately changing how you see a problem or situation. First, you loosen the old frame by doubting existing beliefs. Then, you brainstorm radically different viewpoints, pushing past obvious answers. When things go wrong, ask: “What’s great about this? How can I use this to my advantage?”. Re-edit your mind’s movies of the past to find lessons or closure. Even when aiming, sometimes you need to “curve into the target” by aiming “wrong” to compensate for your biases and hit the mark.
You Are What You Pretend To Be
“Your outside doesn’t need to match your inside”. Even if you feel terrified, pretending to be brave for a minute is being brave. If you’re an introvert but act social for an hour, you were social. Sivers shares that he wasn’t always “in the mood to be a good dad,” but by “pretending” to be what his son needed for years, they built an amazing relationship. Your self-image is less important than your actions. When you know what needs to be done, “You can just pretend”.
The “So What?” Question
In a world overflowing with conflicting information and potentially AI-generated content, it’s increasingly helpful to view “almost nothing as necessarily true”. When faced with shocking videos, differing beliefs, or news reports, instead of asking “Is it true?”, ask “So what?”. This isn’t dismissive; it’s a call to action. “So what are you going to do about it?”. If information doesn’t change your actions, “what does it matter?”. Prioritize what’s useful to you and moves you forward.
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