WORLD LEADING THERAPIST Answers The Biggest Questions People Ask In Therapy | Lori Gottlieb | Jay Shetty Podcast
Renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and advice columnist Lori Gottlieb shares her wisdom on navigating various types of relationships, dating, setting healthy boundaries, and self-improvement.
She provides valuable insights into becoming a better version of oneself, addressing common questions posed in therapy sessions.
A lot of times, relational issues or childhood issues are in disguise… Social anxiety is usually something about ‘I will not be liked, I will not be loved,’ and that has to do with how you were liked or loved when you were younger. – Lori Gottlieb
Overcoming Social Anxiety
Social anxiety often originates from relational or childhood issues and is usually associated with the fear of rejection or criticism.
To overcome social anxiety, it’s important to rewrite one’s story and challenge the belief system that they won’t be liked or loved.
You don’t choose a partner a la carte. How do I feel with this person? That is the most important question you can ask. – Lori Gottlieb
Challenging Past Narratives
The stories people were told about themselves in their past often reflect the storyteller’s own insecurities or mental health issues.
These narratives can impact adult relationships and cause social anxiety.
It’s important to question these narratives and seek evidence that contradicts them.
Addressing the Paradox of Choice
The perception of abundant choices in relationships can lead to unrealistic expectations of finding a perfect partner.
It’s essential to focus on the qualities that truly matter and accept a partner for who they are, rather than trying to change them.
Understanding Triggers in Relationships
Understanding and working together to alleviate a partner’s triggers is crucial in a relationship.
Instead of reacting negatively to a partner’s triggers, it’s more beneficial to empathize, understand their origin, and support the partner in dealing with them.
Importance of Communication
Open and honest discussions about triggers and their impact on the relationship are essential.
It’s not realistic to expect partners to immediately understand each other’s triggers.
Instead, helping them understand and working through it together can strengthen the relationship.
Setting Effective Boundaries
Boundaries in a relationship are not set to control others’ actions, but to control one’s own actions based on what others do.
Consistency in maintaining boundaries is key to their effectiveness.
Affirmation in Relationships
Affirmation can play a significant role in enhancing a relationship.
Subtle acts of affirmation, like flirting with each other daily, can significantly improve the relationship and reduce triggers.
The Purpose of Boundaries
Boundaries in a relationship are not meant to separate people but to bring them closer.
It’s about finding the right balance between having enough space and not being too restrictive.
