When crisis morphs into conflict, the stakes rise. Navigating this complex terrain requires a nuanced understanding of both crisis and conflict management. Let's delve into the intricacies of this transformation and explore strategies for effective resolution.
The Big Split is a mental defense mechanism that allows us to tolerate difficult and unbearable emotions by resorting to black-or-white thinking
We identify others as either heroes or villains, good or bad, “with us” or “against us.”
- This frees us from the burden of having to face our own shortcomings and missteps, while allowing us to cast our opponents as purely and fully bad.
- Everyday confrontations are compounded by primitive emotions like stereotyping, bias, and self-righteousness.
Understanding the Big Split
The Big Split is a multi-layered mental conflict. Behind it lies a complex psychological cocktail: delayed gratification, feelings of injustice, and a race to fill the emotional vacuum created by years of living with restrictions.
- In March 2020, when the pandemic emergency became clear, many of us felt an energy rush
- Leaders became the best version of themselves
- Then, a regression phase hit: people got tired, lost their sense of purpose, started fighting about the small stuff, and started to neglect their relationships
- Next came the recovery phase, where we started to move out of the lull
- This phase was filled with lots of new ideas, and we saw friends, family, and colleagues embracing the new future
- However, the slow recovery tested our resilience
Aim to reunite and reintegrate your relationships
Leaders must emphasize that it isn’t shameful to experience splitting, and that it’s okay to direct time and resources to resolve the fundamental conflicts.
- To offer perspective, leaders should fully understand colleagues, employees, and peers by letting them talk about the turmoil they’re going through, and then search for long-term and constructive ways to move forward
- Building mutual support, remember that a strong emotional connection between teammates, teams, and stakeholders last a long time.
Leading Through the Big Split
For leaders, the point is to recognize that this phase is not a collective sigh of relief and a joyous reunion, but rather one filled with conflict and confrontation
Moving on from the Big Split
The Big Split may be a passing phase – a spike of frustration and readjustment as we reengage with “normal” life.
- It may also be a more persistent condition that will test the patience and resilience of leaders themselves, as well as their teams and stakeholders.
Understand and monitor your own triggers
Realizing when you are falling prey to splitting, whether a little or a lot, and taking note of what triggers you to react in out-of-character ways is a good first step.
- A few instances of “bad behavior” is not the same as deeming someone a “bad agent.” The key is to reject absolutes and categorical thinking.
Spot splitting behavior in your teams and intervene
Call out splitting behavior as soon as you notice it playing out.
- In order to resolve differences of opinion, instead of letting them fester, I have seen leaders scale up the frequency of team meetings but shorten their duration drastically.
