6 Red Flags to Avoid in Relationships and How to Spot Them Early – Jay Shetty | Free Podcast Summary

Love bombing is a potential red flag that should not be overlooked. We should be mindful of any decisions we make while under the influence of oxytocin as it can cloud our judgement.

• It can be tough to figure out if a relationship is going in the right direction or if it is time to end it.
• The way our brains respond to love is similar to an addiction and when we experience a breakup, it can feel like we are going through physical pain and withdrawal.
• We can become fixated on the other person, thinking about them 85% of the time we are awake.
• It is important to not jump to conclusions and avoid making decisions out of fear or insecurity.

• It is normal to feel intense hurt and pain after a breakup.
• Our brains may want to seek out oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding, when we are feeling anxious or fearful.
• We may react to a breakup in ways that can be unhealthy and irrational.
• It is important to take a step back and consider the situation before making a decision.
• 70% of people say “I love you” within the first month of a relationship, a situation known as “love bombing” which can be a manipulation tactic.

• People often feel pressured to say “I love you” soon after meeting someone, even though it’s not always true love.
• Real love is built over time, when both people have experienced each other’s character in different settings.
• Men tend to say “I love you” sooner than women, with an average of 88 days for men and 134 days for women.
• If someone says “I love you” too soon, we need to be careful and take the time to get to know each other better.

• We should always feel free to ask what someone means when they tell us ‘I love you’. It’s a good way to start a conversation and to get to know the other person better.
• We should never feel pressured to say ‘I love you’ too early in a relationship.
• Sex can have an effect on the way we perceive love, so it’s important to never feel pressured into having sex.
• It’s important to understand the other person’s definition of love before committing to anything.

• When we have sex, our brain releases a hormone called oxytocin which can make us feel more in love.
• Oxytocin also has a temporary blocking effect on negative memories, so any concerns we had before sex can fade away.
• This means that after sex, we might forget any warning signs we noticed about the other person before.
• We should be careful not to make decisions while under the influence of oxytocin since it can make us think things are better than they actually are.

• In relationships it is pretty common for people to project emotions onto the other person.
• Sometimes these feelings of insecurity can blind us to the fact that the other person may not be the right one for us.
• It is important to be in a good place emotionally before getting into a relationship.
• Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation which is used to make a person feel insecure and easier to control.

• The phrase ‘ready for a relationship’ has been around since the 1950s, but gained popularity only in the 1980s.
• Relationships used to be viewed as a cornerstone for building a happy and successful life, however, now it’s seen as a capstone.
• People now expect their partners to have done some self-work before entering a relationship.
• Being compassionate and empathetic are important qualities to look for in a partner.