Difficult decisions often stir a whirlpool of emotions and uncertainty. But why do we instinctively try to avoid them? Let's delve into the psychology behind our evasion tactics and explore the potential benefits of facing these challenging choices head-on.
When we’re just starting out in our careers and faced with difficult choices regarding which job is right for us, how do we empower ourselves to make choices with more confidence?
Serena Hagerty (a doctoral student at Harvard Business School) and Kate Barasz (an associate professor at ESADE Business School in Barcelona) recently published a paper on just how far people will go to dodge a tough decision.
Why do so many people have a strong aversion to making difficult decisions?
Decision-making can be stressful. Some decisions are stressful because they’re just plain hard.
- A common theme is people are averse to making (objectively and subjectively) difficult choices because they don’t want the stress of weighing all the options or the responsibility of dealing with the eventual outcome.
Bottom Line
Hard decisions make us anticipate regret, and anticipating regret makes decisions hard
- If we think we might one day regret the outcome of our choice, we have a harder time pulling the trigger
- We might wish we had chosen differently, have lower satisfaction with our choices, and start down the path of “what if?”
Choice is a privilege
So many people in the world would kill to have more options and the freedom of choice, yet those who get it and when they have too many choices, they feel burdened
- The burden also comes from the increased effort required to collect all relevant information to make the decision or choice
- At least you’re privileged to be able to choose versus those who do not have the resources to do so
Is there an easier way?
When we can reduce anticipated regret, decisions become easier.
Behavioral manifestations of this
In order to preemptively avoid a situation in which a difficult choice may arise – some people actually hope for worse news.
- This feeling of “having no other choice” might seem unempowering, but can actually be powerfully exonerating. You absolve yourself of future decision regret if you didn’t have any real decision to make in the first place.
How do we handle tough decisions better?
Recognize and be mindful of all the (sometimes unconscious) ways you might be sneakily trying to avoid tough choices (asking the other person what they’d do, or hoping for bad news).
- Mitigate misguided coping mechanisms by getting clear about your own preferences.
- Figure out ways of easing your decisional conflict by coming to terms with the fact that it’s probably better to get “better” news that still entails a hard choice, rather than worse news that eliminates that choice
- Find support by telling people you’re grappling with a tough decision.
