Complexity lies in every relationship, whether it’s at work, in business, or the family. Each person is different and carries a varied perspective towards life.
The ideas that go-ahead might not always be the best. Similarly, a discussion is not always won by the right people. Because the most crucial element of communication doesn’t lie in the content or the art of communication; rather, it lies in the relationships and connections.
Achieving success doesn’t solely depend upon your ideas and talent, but it also depends on how you mold your relationship. While the earlier is necessary, the latter gives shape and dimension to it.
Venturing into something new might seem problematic when you keep encountering closed doors, people in high positions you cannot reach, uncomfortable people, people who don’t want you to succeed, or people you want to interact with but don’t know how to initiate a conversation.
Have you ever thought about building bridges with the ones who can be a part of your path? The answer is the magical phrase, “Can I ask you for advice?” These golden words can redesign your life by opening closed doors. Irrespective of the situation, you can always make a small request, and you will never regret it. So let’s understand how it works.
The Ben Franklin Effect
The Ben Franklin Effect is a psychological effect to let people do you a favor and change their perspective. It might sound strange, but honestly, it’s not.
Letting someone do you a favor will change their perspective towards you as they will consider you worthy of their time and attention and thus will see you in a more favorable light.
Let people do small favors and thank them. This opens doors for applause and flattery.
Who doesn’t like to be complimented? So, when you use the magical words “Can I ask you for advice?”, you are not only asking them for a favor but also complimenting them. You are telling them that they are smart, intelligent and their opinion matters. People like to be heard and respected. So, the magical phrase might sound like a favor to you, but it is also a gift for them.
Let The Other Person Do The Talking
Everyone loves to be heard. This is also applied when you’re asking for advice. Once you ask the other person for their word of wisdom, let them do the talking. You must always remember the 80/20 rule: 80% of the outcome comes from 20% of the cause. The comfort will build a sense of trust and friendship and thus open the closed doors for you
The Peripatetic Effect
The peripatetic effect is a method of thinking in which you can align questions that will help people reach conclusions that they feel like their own. You can use this method along with the magical phrase to build a stronger relationship.
It is not manipulation; rather, it is a common practice in communication and negotiation.
For example, if you ask another person for advice about something that interests you, you will get solutions to a real problem and a practical answer. Even if the person thinks it’s his idea, let him do it because he will promote it with passion and thus benefit you.
Have Real Conversations
Small talks are boring. It doesn’t add any value. Instead, you should have real conversations and try to build connections.
Nobody asks for advice on bogus things. Asking for advice will only do you good and solve problems because it is one of the five avenues of wealth in silence and will help you shape your way through life.