Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies – Scott Adams
“Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies” is a humorous take on life in the corporate world, offering satirical advice on how to navigate office politics and succeed in the workplace.
How to look like you belong
Confidence is key when it comes to office supply theft. If you act like you belong and know what you’re doing, others are less likely to question your actions. The author suggests practicing your confidence in front of a mirror and avoiding nervous behavior like fidgeting or looking around too much.
The art of office supply recycling
Creativity can help you make the most of the office supplies you have available. The author suggests using binder clips as makeshift chip clips or using a paper clip to unclog a spray bottle. By thinking outside the box, you can save money and impress your coworkers.
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The art of office supply reconnaissance
Observation is key when it comes to finding the best office supply resources. The author suggests keeping an eye out for when supplies are restocked, where they are kept, and who uses them the most. This information can be used to your advantage when it comes time to restock your own supplies.
The art of office supply sharing
Sharing office supplies with coworkers can help you build relationships and foster a sense of community in the workplace. The author suggests sharing supplies like staplers, scissors, and tape with coworkers, and even setting up a communal supply area for everyone to use.
How to be efficient with office supplies
Efficiency can help you make the most of your office supplies and save time and money. The author suggests using one pen until it runs out instead of using multiple pens at once, printing double-sided to save paper, and using a stapler to organize documents instead of paperclips.
How to prioritize office supply needs
Prioritizing your office supply needs can help you save money and make the most of the supplies you have. The author suggests prioritizing essential supplies like pens and paper and avoiding unnecessary items like decorative folders or expensive desk accessories.
The art of office supply networking
Networking with other departments and building relationships can help you gain access to new office supply resources. The author suggests attending company events and meeting new people, and even trading supplies with coworkers from other departments.
How to be resourceful with office supplies
Resourcefulness can help you make the most of the office supplies you have and save money in the process. The author suggests using the backs of old memos as scrap paper, using a binder clip as a stand for your phone, and using a rubber band to hold your keyboard in place.
How to look successful with office supplies
Perception is key when it comes to office supply theft. The author suggests using high-quality supplies like expensive pens and notebooks to give the impression that you are successful and important. This can help you gain respect and influence in the workplace.
Steal office supplies (metaphorically)
Take advantage of the resources and opportunities available to you in your workplace to achieve your goals, but always do so ethically and without harming others.