Ep352 – Dr. Pooja Lakshmin | Real Self-Care | Podcast Summary

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a leading psychiatrist and author, brings forth a comprehensive guide to real self-care in her book.

She presents a step-by-step program for sustainable change, using case studies from her practice and clinical research.

The discussion emphasizes the significance of setting boundaries, moving past guilt, treating oneself with compassion, and asserting personal power.

Real self-care is about empowering individuals, particularly women, to assert their power and take control of their mental health.

It involves making conscious decisions that align with personal values and foster self-compassion.

Setting boundaries is crucial for real self-care.

Many people, particularly women, are often unaware of when their boundaries are being crossed.

This can lead to feelings of resentment, exhaustion, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

Setting clear boundaries and learning to say no when necessary is key to personal wellbeing.

The ‘pause’ is the space between a request and a response, where one can decide how to react.

This pause allows for reflection and judgment, rather than immediate reaction.

It can be a useful tool for those who find it difficult to say no.

You can’t meditate your way out of a 40-hour work week with no child care… that’s not how wellness works right… the problem is outside of us but the solution has to be collective. – Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

Many people make decisions based on a desire to avoid guilt, which can lead to a disconnect from one’s own desires and needs.

Instead of trying to eliminate guilt, it’s important to acknowledge it as a feeling but not allow it to dictate decisions.

Societal expectations can lead to internalized guilt, particularly in women and marginalized groups.

Recognizing this can help individuals understand that their guilt is not necessarily a reflection of personal failure, but rather a response to external pressures.

Self-compassion is a key component of real self-care.

Being mindful of self-talk and treating oneself with kindness and understanding can help mitigate feelings of guilt and foster a healthier relationship with oneself.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to self-care.

Each individual will have different needs and solutions.

It’s important to take the time to discover what works best for oneself.

This process involves making hundreds of small decisions and taking small steps towards better self-care.

Faux self-care is a method… it’s time limited and it’s also limited by the circumstances of what you’re going through whereas real self-care is actual principles… it’s a perspective… it’s internal. – Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

True meaning and satisfaction come from understanding one’s own desires and needs, rather than striving to meet societal expectations or the desires of others.

Slowing down and really understanding what’s important can lead to a more fulfilling life.