Bringing out the good in kids—and parents—with Becky Kennedy | ReThinking with Adam Grant
In this enlightening episode of Re:Thinking with Adam Grant, clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy, also known as Dr. Becky, explores the complexities of parenthood.
The fascinating conversation delves into topics like setting boundaries, validating emotions, cultivating values, and the importance of communication in child-rearing.
It is more critical to not be an abusive parent than it is to be an extra loving, loving parent. It’s more important to not restrict your kids’ freedom than it is to give them, you know, loads of autonomy. – Adam Grant
Individual Needs and Mental Health
Different children require different parenting approaches.
This difference is not a reflection of parental failure but rather the unique needs of each child.
Prioritizing children’s mental health involves dedicating uninterrupted, screen-free time to connect with them.
Emotion Regulation Skills
Teaching children emotion regulation skills is crucial as negative behaviors often stem from an inability to manage frustration.
Normalizing and validating children’s feelings can prevent such behaviors.
The Role of Children in Problem-solving
Involving children in creating solutions to their behavioral challenges gives them a sense of ownership and confidence.
This involvement is an empowering strategy that encourages problem-solving skills.
Balancing Rules and Creativity
Households with clear values but fewer rules tend to raise highly creative children.
Balancing rules with fostering creativity and independence is a challenge parents need to navigate.
The Power of Family Meetings
Family meetings are an effective yet underutilized intervention with children.
These meetings provide a platform where ideas are shared and discussed respectfully, helping children feel heard and respected.
When I think about a parent’s job, I think about two main buckets of things… The first part of a parent’s job is boundaries right and that really answers a kid’s question ‘am I safe?’… The other half of our job is validation which is really seeing your kids emotional experience as real. – Becky Kennedy
Understanding Children’s Actions
Understanding the reasons behind children’s actions can lead to changing rules from a place of growth, not just to make them happy.
This understanding can result in greater cooperation.
Feeling Seen and Understood
Feeling seen and understood is more important than individual decisions.
The emotional connection of feeling seen holds more value than any specific decision.
The Gap between Knowing and Doing
Awareness that ‘knowing better’ doesn’t always translate to ‘doing better’ is critical.
Understanding this gap can lead to more effective strategies in managing behaviors.
